


The Chariot

by viciousmollymaukery



Series: Critical Tarot [3]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Touch Starvation (implied/mentioned), Travel Montage (of sorts), hand holding, jumped on the "Essek has chronic pain" hype train as well I guess, multiple POVs, what's sexier than wizards NOTHING
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:27:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23851567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viciousmollymaukery/pseuds/viciousmollymaukery
Summary: "This card is about overcoming obstacles and moving forward. It represents hard work and planning."Finding themselves in Zadash, the Mighty Nein take the next steps towards unraveling the Cerberus Assembly. Essek reveals more secrets, Jester ponders her feelings, and Caleb prepares for an ultimate test.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, The Mighty Nein & Essek Thelyss, subtle Beauregard Lionett/Jester Lavorre
Series: Critical Tarot [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2147757
Comments: 28
Kudos: 180





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm experimenting with updating chapter-by-chapter as opposed to work-by-work for this, because it got really long and it's been a while since I last updated. I may have to come back and edit, so if a sentence or phrase seems different on a reread, you're not crazy, it's just me lurking behind the scenes. I'll hopefully have the next two chapters up pretty soon, but I'm in the middle of finals right now and most of my word document is still in WIP shorthand, so we'll see.
> 
> Also, if this is the first fics of mine you've clicked on, welcome! You may want to go back and read the first two, but if you don't have that kind of time, you can probably pick up the gist of what's going on. 
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are appreciated. Let me know what y'all are thinking, because Detect Thoughts doesn't exist on Earth.
> 
> Enjoy!

“It’s called ‘Tether Essence,’” Essek was saying as he turned the spellbook over to Caleb, who was sprawled across the bed and using his chest as a pillow. It was well into the night by now, their room in the inn lit up by a multitude of candles that cast the occasional flickering shadow over the scatterings of parchment pieces and books that he had managed to save before the attack on his tower. “It can be used to connect two people. Whatever affects one, damage or healing, affects the other.”

Caleb shifted slightly and took the book eagerly, propping it up with one hand and loosely lacing their fingers together with the other. He examined the arcane glyphs and runes intensely, drinking in and absorbing every meaning. Essek watched him with a slight smile, as entranced and spellbound as ever.

Since arriving in Zadash, they’d had precious few moments to share spells or do much besides solidifying their plans for the Assembly. Beauregard’s digging at both the Halls of Erudition and the Cobalt Soul and Veth’s spying on Oremid Hass had proved fruitful. The Assembly was dirty—he’d always known that, even _then—_ but their work was insidious and slippery, and invariably condoned by the crown. As the Archmage in Nicodranas had told them, they would have to uncover the Assembly’s subtle workings _against_ the Empire for their own gain if they were to be successful.

“This is _fascinating_ ,” Caleb exhaled, eyes wide. “I think it is a bit beyond me for now, but this is intriguing nonetheless.”

“Consider it a preview, then. In the meantime, here.” Essek flicked his fingers and produced a scrolled copy of the spell, handing it over to Caleb. “For practice, or if the need for it should strike you.”

Caleb set down the spellbook and carefully took the scroll, as if the parchment itself might crack apart in his grasp. “Are you sure? With the people we’re going after, I don’t want to take anything that you might need.”

“It’s a spell I rarely use, and I already have it if the situation requires. It’s yours.” _As am I_ , he thought.

Caleb grinned and leaned forward, kissing him lightly on the cheek. “Thank you,” he says. “I will make sure it gets put to use.”

Essek smiled again, gently pulling his free hand through Caleb’s hair. “I can think of no one who would use it better.”

Caleb sighed and set his head back on Essek’s chest, eyes closed. “Beauregard and Jester are scouting out Hass one more time tonight,” he murmured, “but if they don’t find anything, we’ll probably confront him tomorrow.”

Essek nodded. “She said she would message me if they got into trouble, or when they’re on their way back. Which means,” he added, “that you can go to sleep and not wait up the whole night.”

“And leave you all alone for eight hours?” Caleb half-teased, losing his fight against a yawn. “Not a chance.”

Essek didn’t miss the faint undercurrent of tension in his voice. “The two of them will be fine,” he said, “and with what you’ve taught me, so will I. And,” he sighed, “I would like to know that we’re getting our money’s worth out of this place.” Jester had ended up _insisting_ they stay at the ‘Pillow Trove’, which was by far the most lavish lodging in Zadash.

Caleb laughed a bit and sighed in surrender, snapping Frumpkin into existence while he adjusted himself under the covers so they were laying side-by-side. Essek snuffed the elaborate candles with a quick wave of Prestidigitation while Frumpkin curled on top of his chest as usual, purring contentedly over his heart.

Caleb settled on his side, resting his head on Essek’s shoulder and wrapping one arm around his waist. “ _Gute Nacht_ , _liebling_ ,” he whispered, already mostly asleep.

“Sleep well, dear,” Essek said softly a few seconds before Caleb started snoring. He was so _warm_ Essek sometimes wondered if he was made of the flames he so often used in his magic. It was like laying right next to a campfire, he imagined, but one that was fiercely protective and still insisted there was good in you even when you couldn’t see it yourself.

Not strictly needing the candlelight, Essek leafed through one of the tomes that Beauregard had snagged while he waited for Jester’s message. It went into detail on the history of the Cerberus Assembly, from their establishment with the Crimson Midnight to their more current operations. He knew a lot of it already, of course, but the refresher was nice.

He was seeing it in a bit of a new light now, too. He didn’t want to admit it, but he had underestimated these people and how quickly, how effectively, they’d dispose of him. He’d been prepared for them to try, or so he thought, but they’d been far more brutal than he had expected.

It was selfish, he knew, to only now begin to regret his actions once they had started directly affecting him, and _he_ was forced to deal with their consequences. And it was crushing, to realize that the web he’d worked so hard to weave had all been for naught, that it had been ripped through as easily as he himself had been. But, from what little he knew of regret, it didn’t seem linear or especially neat. Though his motives were still selfish, he did know with confidence that if he were offered the choice again, he would make a very different one, if nothing else. Essek hoped that counted for something, in someone’s eyes.

It was a few hours later, as his own eyes were starting to feel heavy, when Jester’s voice blared through his brain. _“Hey Essek, it’s Jester. Beau and I are coming back now. We might have found something useful, but it’s pretty weird._ _Can we talk in—”_

Essek waited a moment for the next part of the message to come through, knowing the routine with Jester by now. _“—the morning once everyone is awake? OH SHIT I’m_ _really_ _sorry if I woke up you_ _and_ _Caleb by the way, we kinda lost track—”_

He waited another few seconds, but heard nothing further. “Well,” he said softly, careful not to disturb Caleb or Frumpkin, “I am glad to hear you’re both safe, and that things apparently went well. Tomorrow morning should work fine. See you then.”

Again he waited in case she sent another message, but the creaking of a door down the hall, approaching footsteps, and two hushed, excited voices a few minutes later confirmed their safe arrival. Essek carefully set the book aside and settled back against the pillows for his own trance. Caleb muttered something in Zemnian and pulled him a little closer, but did not wake up.

Essek rested, still longer and more deeply than he was accustomed to, and it was well past dawn when he finally woke up. It had started storming, the heavy pattering of raindrops and occasional roll of thunder in the distance a soothing backdrop to the rest of the noise in the inn. He listened carefully and could hear through the walls a few of the Nein getting started on their day: the creak of armor, the _shink_ of a sword being sheathed, the unfurling of a blanket as a bed was being made.

Despite its extravagant and frankly outrageous prices, there was no one room in the Pillow Trove that could comfortably house all of them at once with the standards they had to maintain, or so the confused innkeeper had explained when Jester had asked (well, demanded) for such a room. Jester had then suggested that they go stay with her dad, who was, Essek gathered, some sort of prominent and possibly criminal figure in the city, but the rest of the group had seemed hesitant given that he might have his own dealings with the Assembly that could complicate things even more than they currently were. So, Jester had relented and forced them all into the Pillow Trove, saying that Essek could _like, totally meet_ _him_ _another time when things aren’t so crazy, ya know?_

Essek quietly lifted Frumpkin off of his chest and untangled himself from Caleb, who was still snoring, and pulled on one of the Pillow Trove’s complimentary silk robes over his nightclothes. There was an all too familiar _twinge_ through his back and down his legs when he rose, and he pressed his knuckles into the near-perpetual sore spot at the base of his spine with a hiss, sitting down in one of the armchairs as quickly as he could and slowly breathing out through his teeth. It was finally time for one of _those_ days, then, he thought, clenching a fist with his left hand as the painful tingling started up in it. Just perfect.

A few moments later, Caleb groaned and lifted his head, blinking awake with a frown. “ _Scheisse,_ it’s already morning?” He asked, yawning and stretching his arms over his head.

“Unfortunately,” Essek sighed, trying to shake out the pins and needles that were encroaching into his fingers. With another quick wave of Prestidigitation from his other hand, he lit the candles on the nightstand again as well as the fire in the fireplace.

Caleb groaned again and ran a hand over his face, climbing out of bed and staggering upright. Essek knew by now that until he had a chance to wake up, he’d be comparable to a zombie.

“I did hear from Jester last night,” Essek offered. “She said they might have found something interesting about Hass.”

Caleb took a seat in the other chair with a huff, his eyes still half closed. Frumpkin jumped into his lap and began kneading his paws into his stomach. “She say what it was?”

“No. I can imagine that once everyone is ready for the day, she and Beauregard will tell us. They arrived back maybe a few hours before dawn.”

Caleb hummed softly, scratching Frumpkin under the chin, who purred happily. “Well, then they should be awake in an hour or so. Caduceus will have started on breakfast despite us staying at a place that provides it for us, so we should probably start congregating in the common area. And,” he admitted, “I’d prefer it if we weren’t all separated for too long.”

“Of course,” Essek said, rising carefully and ignoring as best he could the sharp shocks of pain the motion sent down into his knees. Caleb, thankfully, didn’t seem to notice and pulled himself up, Frumpkin mewling irritably as he was forced to jump down. “All together it is.”

Caleb took his mostly numb hand and they both strode through the secondary door to the common area that adjoined everyone’s quarters. It was a decently large space, with a fireplace against one wall, some couches, and a few tables and chairs. As Caleb had predicted, Caduceus was in the process of preparing a meal for all of them in the kitchen area, and Fjord was laying out silverware on the dining room table, which was bound to be cramped with eight of them. Yasha lounged in a chair by the windows, gaze fixed on the storm brewing outside, but she raised a hand in greeting nonetheless. Essek didn’t see Veth anywhere; she must have been either still asleep or skulking about somewhere.

“Hey there,” Caduceus said with a smile as he began plating the food he was making. “Hope you both slept well. Food’s almost ready, give me a few more minutes.”

“This place has _really_ good coffee too,” Fjord said, nursing his own cup with his free hand. “None of that sour shit from the Menagerie Coast.”

“I also made some tea,” Caduceus offered. “The Jamesons were a lovely family, always a bit of a hyperactive bunch if you’re wanting a little pick-me-up.”

At the word ‘coffee’, Caleb strode forward and began pouring himself a large cup from the pot set out on the table, drinking about half of it before topping it off and taking a seat. Essek, though a bit bewildered, opted for the tea instead out of courtesy, taking a cautious sip from the steaming cup in his good hand as he carefully sat down across from Caleb. It was warm and had a rich, earthy taste with a hint of some spice he didn’t recognize.

“Thank you,” he said to Caduceus. “This is lovely.”

“You’re welcome.” Caduceus was bringing over everyone’s plates now and gave Essek one of those piercing looks that seemed to pierce into his soul. “You feeling okay today?”

It was the latest phrasing of the same question he’d asked every morning, and as always, Essek bit back the urge to lie, still as natural to him as floating was. It had been well over a week now since the Scourger attack, since he’d bled out on the floor of his tower and they’d started towards removing the Assembly from power, and it was frustrating to him that it was taking him so long to feel completely better. And, there was the matter of his _other_ affliction on top of that, though he’d prefer not to bring that up to them quite yet (or anyone, ever, if he could avoid it).

“I am… not quite a hundred percent, but I am well enough,” was what he ended up saying.

Caduceus nodded as he set the plates of food in front of them. “That’s fine. Take your time, it’s not the kind of thing you want to rush,” he said. “And taking your time is nothing to be upset about.”

Yasha joined them from the window and took a seat across from Fjord, who was already scarfing down his food, and took a long sip from her own cup of tea, giving Essek a slight, almost sympathetic nod.

Caleb inclined his head towards the window, where the torrential downpour was still in full force. “Did you, ah, get anything from this?” He asked her as he raised his fork to his mouth.

Yasha shook her head, cradling the small cup in her hands. “Nothing in particular. But it’s, uh… sort of comforting, in a weird way.”

“He’s watching over you,” Caduceus said as he sat down at the head of the table with his own plate. “They always are, even when you can’t see them. We don’t always get to know for sure they’re there, but they are.”

Fjord nodded in agreement as he finished his plate and leaned back in his chair. “That was _delicious,_ is there any more?”

“Well, we need to save some for when Beau and Jester wake up,” Caduceus said. “And Veth too, for whenever she gets back.”

Fjord grumbled unhappily but seemed to acquiesce, gathering his dirtied plates and silverware and bringing them all back over to the kitchen.

“Yes, where is she?” Caleb asked a bit nervously, sipping again from his coffee.

“I caught her as she was leaving around dawn,” Yasha said. “She said she wanted to do some last minute spying. I didn’t really press her.”

“I’m sure she’ll be back soon enough,” Fjord said. “I can’t think of any reason at all that she might get herself into trouble.”

“No, neither can I,” Caleb said dryly, finishing off his coffee. “Well, until she gets back or Beau and Jester haul themselves out of bed, I’m going to set a few more Alarms around this place, if that’s all right with everyone.”

“I don’t think any of us would say no to a bit more security,” Fjord said as he emptied his own cup. Caduceus joined him in the kitchen to start cleaning things up.

“I can cover the surrounding rooms if you want to get the main area,” Essek offered. Caleb’s insistence that he learn this spell was already paying off.

Caleb nodded and they went their separate ways for a time. Yasha returned to the window while Fjord and Caduceus finished cleaning up the kitchen. Essek was about to put up an Alarm around the doors that lead from the shared living space to Beauregard and Jester’s room when they burst open, revealing Jester herself with her arms thrown dramatically to her side.

“YOU GUYS,” Jester shouted as the doors _slam_ _med_ against the back of the wall, and everyone jumped. “GUESS. WHAT. WE. FOUND!”

Beauregard weaved her way from out behind her, notebook in hand, still in her pajamas. “Okay, nobody is allowed to ask us how, but we got into Hass’s personal library last night.”

“You did _what?’_ Fjord demanded.

“Fjord, she already said you’re not allowed to ask, so just fucking hush, okay?!” Jester’s voice was shrill, high and stressed as if she were still riding the adrenaline rush that had to come from breaking into the library of an Archmage who worked for one of the most dangerous organizations on the planet.

“But what happened to just _spying_ on him and getting information?”

“Look, just don’t worry about all of that, okay?” Beauregard flipped through her notebook as she made her way towards the table, and everyone stood and formed the now standard circle around it. “But the library had like, a secret section with a bunch of shady notes and documents in it.” She looked up at Essek. “That’s normal for super powerful wizards that definitely have everyone’s best interests in mind, right?” She asked sarcastically.

Essek smiled, humoring her. “Yes, absolutely. It’s the first thing you do when you’re given the title of Archmage.”

“Yeah, _totally_. So anyway, we went poking around in there, and we found all of this.” Beauregard pulled out a handful of pages there were tucked into her notebook. “It’s coded and super cryptic and all that, but I decoded part of it while I was there ‘cuz I’m super smart now and shit—” she paused to point to the circlet around her head— “and it’s got something to do with the royal family and some kind of conspiracy that’s going on. Someone’s asking Hass to be on the lookout for students that show talent for making—okay I’m not sure if this word is ‘potion’ or ‘poison’ but it’s one of the two—”

“May I see that, please?” Caleb extended a hand towards the papers she was holding. Beauregard passed them over to him and he examined it for a moment.

“Dairon told me back in Rosohna that the Assembly has to be behind some of the fucked up shit that’s befallen the Empire, but she didn’t know what specifically and couldn’t prove anything,” Beauregard continued. “But this has got to be something, right?”

“It feels a little too perfect,” Fjord said grimly. “Maybe we shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves.”

“This does feel a little bit like a trap,” Caduceus added.

“No,” Caleb said quietly, “I don’t think so.” He lifted his eyes from the papers, holding them up. “These are incomplete, I can imagine the more, ah, explicitly incriminating parts are under a better lock and key. But from what I can discern here, these papers talk about their continued plans for developing a very potent arcane poison of some kind to smuggle into Rexxentrum.”

There was a brief pause as everyone processed what Caleb was saying, the silence punctuated by a quick flash of lightning and a nearby crackle of thunder. Essek used the opportunity to shift and subtly lean against the table to take some of his weight off of his legs, hoping that no one saw how tightly his jaw was clenched or asked him to contribute to the conversation.

“Ho-ly _shit_ ,” Jester exclaimed, laying her hands flat on the table and leaning over it. “Are they gonna assassinate everyone there or something?”

“I do not know. As I said, the papers are incom—”

The door to the hallway flew open with a similar _bang_ as when Jester had entered, but they saw no one in the doorway. Everyone snapped into action, bracing themselves. Essek stood upright and began holding a Disintegrate spell, but the door _slammed_ shut a moment later and a small, soaking wet halfling woman dropped her Invisibility.

“Everyone,” Veth shouted, “you will literally _never_ guess what I found!”

Essek dropped his spell and saw the others do the same with their own defenses. Well, everyone except for Fjord, who shot a few Eldritch Blasts at Veth’s feet.

“AHH, YOU FUCKER!” She screamed, jumping away and almost falling to the floor.

“Well, I’m sorry, but you scared us,” Fjord protested indignantly.

“I’ll fucking _gut you,”_ Veth shrieked as she made her way over to them, removing her drenched cloak and hanging it over a spare chair. She then climbed up one of the ones around the table to address them all, still dripping rainwater onto the floor. “Now, everyone listen up! I found something _really fishy_ in a secret drawer in Oremid Hass’s desk.”

“YOU WENT INTO HIS FUCKING _DESK?_ ” Jester shouted.

“Shit, Nott, even _we_ didn’t do that!” Beauregard pulled her hands back through her hair.

“Veth, _please_ tell me you at least checked for traps,” Caleb said, exasperated.

“Yes yes yes, I checked for traps, I was very careful.” Veth was digging through her pockets, looking for something. “I disarmed some things, unlocked others, it went absolutely perfectly and there were no problems or hiccups _at all,_ and I found _this_.” She removed a letter from a side satchel and held it up, victorious.

“It’s from the Martinet Ludinus Da-whatever, and it’s in some kind of code but I’m pretty sure it’s about the prince and his wife and something about a child?”

“Here, may I?” Caleb reached for the letter and Veth handed it over. Essek was already starting to put the pieces together himself, between whispers he’d heard over the years from the Lens and what they had just learned here, but it could be dangerous to speculate before knowing anything for certain.

“What does it _say?”_ Jester demanded, trying to crawl onto the table to read the letter herself before Beauregard managed to pull her back.

Caleb held up a finger as he kept reading, eyes moving rapidly over the pages. He slowly exhaled as he finished the last one. “Fjord,” he said slowly, “are there any unwanted eyes on us right now?”

Fjord summoned his sword, Dwueth’Var, and his eyes seemed to glow slightly as he looked all around the room to See Invisibility. He shook his head. “Nothing that I can see.”

“Very good,” Caleb said, pulling a small bead from his component pouch. “Give me one minute, if you all don’t mind.”

He began casting the Tiny Hut spell. Jester spent the entire time bouncing up and down and chewing her bottom lip to shreds despite Beauregard’s attempts to calm her. Caleb gestured for them all to sit down as the spell took, for which Essek was grateful. Caduceus made one more venture to bring the rest of the food over for the newcomers as well as a fresh pot of tea, but with that they were all safely within the dome.

“Okay,” Caleb said, snapping Frumpkin into existence on top of the dome to keep an eye on the door. He spread the papers out in front of him with a heavy sigh. “Now, from what I have pieced together here, this is what I think is happening: the Cerberus Assembly is, and has been for some time, poisoning select members of the royal family so that they will not be able to produce an heir to the throne, so as to slowly transfer more power from King Dwendal’s family into their hands.”

So, Essek’s suspicions were confirmed after all. There was another long pause while everyone took the information in. Beauregard had opened her notebook again and was furiously scribbling, mouth agape and eyes wide. After a heartbeat or two, they all exploded into chaos and questions, the cacophony of sound echoing around the dome.

While they were all erupting with the revelation and its implications, Caduceus shoved a teacup into Essek’s right hand with a knowing look. “Here,” he said as quietly as he could, discretely removing a small vial from his belt and quickly emptying its contents into Essek’s cup. “This should take the edge off for a little while.”

Essek was at a loss for words for one of the first times in his life. He blinked once, twice, three times before looking away, face burning and biting back the instinctual snippy response or feint of ignorance. Apparently he wasn’t anywhere near as good at hiding things as he hoped. Given how uncannily perceptive he knew Caduceus to be, it had been foolish to even try. “Thank you,” he whispered as he brought the tea to his lips.

Caduceus just nodded as he went back to passing around a few more plates, and Essek was grateful he said nothing further on the matter. The tea was excellent as always, sharp and crisp and numbing his tongue a bit. The spikes of pain in his back started fading away to the usual dull but persistent ache as he tuned back in to the conversation around him.

“So they’re like, magically cockblocking all these people?” Beauregard was demanding, writing frantically in her book.

“That is one, rather _indelicate_ way of putting it, yes,” Caleb affirmed.

“I’ve heard of potions that can do that sort of thing,” Veth said, “but most people are interested in ones that do—well, the opposite of that.”

“Like those rhino sex potions we got in that weird shop?” Jester asked around a bite of the food she’d started shoveling into her mouth.

“Yeah, but ones that actually work. Trust me, those were _worthless_.”

Fjord cleared his throat loudly. “Well, now that we know this, I think that revealing this plan to the King would be a significant first step towards getting these fucks taken out of power.”

“Essek, should we like, tell the Bright Queen or something? So she knows the shit that’s about to happen over here and doesn’t think we’ve turned against her?” Jester asked before licking her fingers clean.

“I fear that would only reignite tensions, or that she might use the opportunity to press an advantage for the Dynasty and start things again that way,” Essek said, placing his teacup down and keeping his eyes towards Jester as Caduceus silently topped it off. “Despite having Quana to temper her, she can be a bit, ah… quick on the draw when it comes to matters of war. This peace is a very delicate one, and informing her would only disrupt it.”

Jester frowned. “Who’s Quana again?”

“The Dusk Captain,” Essek explained, lifting the cup once more, “and the Bright Queen’s partner, across several of both of their lifetimes.”

Beauregard was also frowning, looking at him with the usual suspicion. “War monger or not, why would she break the peace all of a sudden like that? That doesn’t make any sense.”

Essek sighed and took another sip of his tea. Now was as good a time as any to tell them, he thought. “There have been some… _concerns,_ especially in more recent years, about the Bright Queen’s state of mind,” he said delicately, placing the cup down again and folding his hands now that the tingling sensation in his fingers had eased. “It is the Umavis’ best kept secret, and strictly speaking even _I_ am not supposed to know this, but... the lifetimes of memories that come with consecution, especially for one who has lived as many lives as she, can eventually weigh on the mind to the point of breaking it.”

Beauregard blinked slowly as Jester’s jaw dropped open, and Fjord let out a low whistle. “That’s, uh, kinda deeply fucked up, to tell you the truth,” she said.

“Wait, does that mean _you’re_ going to go crazy one day?” Jester demanded, standing up and leaning her top half over the table once again, eyes wide with worry.

“Yeah, are you going to just snap and kill all of us or something?” Veth’s fingers twitched towards her crossbow.

“No, not at all,” Essek said quickly. It was disorienting, to willingly drag the truths he’d so deeply buried out through his teeth. “I’m not—that’s not how—the consecution process can be resisted, though doing so often results in some ill effects,” he said to Jester, almost blurting it out. “And if I ever thought that I might hurt any of you, for any reason, I would remove myself as far away as possible from you all, with great expedience,” he said to Veth, hoping to cover up and gloss over what he’d revealed.

It didn’t work. “What sort of ill effects?” Caleb inquired carefully, brow furrowed in concern.

Essek smiled bitterly, not quite meeting his gaze. “I... did learn to float for more than just seeming impressive,” was all he managed to say, most of it directed into his teacup as he drank from it again. The words _‘I_ _severely damaged_ _most of my nervous system_ _beyond any means of repair_ _’_ did tend to stick in one’s throat, especially when confessing a lie to someone that one loved dearly.

“Wait wait wait, hold up,” Beauregard said, holding up her notebook and pen. She pointed the tip of the quill at Essek. “Just so I understand: you knew that consecution could be dangerous and sometimes make people lose it if they live too many lives?”

“Yes. I make it a habit, albeit a dangerous one, to know such things, especially about consecution and the Beacons themselves.”

“But you still had to go through with it?”

“Yes. It would be _unbecoming_ of an Umavi’s son to refuse to be consecuted. I’d have been cast out from the Den, or worse, and then I’d have had nothing.”

“So even though you knew it would seriously fuck you up, you resisted the pull of a _literal fucking god_ anyway?”

“Yes. I would rather lose my body than my mind.”

Beauregard smiled slowly in what looked like… admiration? “Dude,” she said, “I’m not gonna lie to you, that’s… kinda badass.”

“Yeah, like, _holy shit,”_ Jester exclaimed, her fingers curled up under her chin. “Essek, that’s super cool.”

“That does sound like something that takes some serious guts,” Fjord said, sounding impressed.

“I wouldn’t have thought you’d have had it in you,” Yasha added. “For, uh, whatever it’s worth.”

Essek blinked. That was decidedly _not_ the response he’d been expected. Outrage maybe, or perhaps dismay at the fact that he’d led them on yet again. “I… thank you?”

“Okay okay,” Veth interrupted, “point is, we’re _not_ looping the Bright Queen in at this point, agreed?”

“Yes, definitely agreed,” Fjord said.

“For sure,” Beauregard insisted, going back to flipping through her notebook.

“Our best chance is handling this entirely within the Empire,” Caleb said, shuffling through the pages again. “But these alone I fear would not be enough to implicate them. We need more physical evidence of some kind. Letters can be forged, as I’m sure the Assembly will be quick to point out.”

“Hold on,” Beauregard said, closing her notebook and standing to lean over the letters. “Didn’t one of these say something about—here it is.” She picked up one of the letters and scanned over it again. “Yeah, they’re gonna smuggle some of it into Rexxentrum _from Zadash_ where Hass is having some students experiment with a new formula. Guys, this could be perfect.”

“Are we—are we planning a _heist?”_ Veth asked, grinning. “A real life heist mission?”

“Do you think—if they’re having my dad help, we could slip in, easy-peasy,” Jester said. She gasped, covering her cheeks with her hands. “WE COULD, LIKE, DELIVER THE POISONS TO REXXENTRUM AND TAKE THEM TO THE KING AND TELL HIM WHAT THE ASSEMBLY IS DOING!”

“That’s… actually a really good idea,” Fjord said slowly.

“Yeah yeah yeah,” Beauregard said eagerly, “And he’ll be all like, ‘huh, what’s this?’ and then we can be like, ‘well, if you’d really like to know, King Dwendal sir, the Assembly has been making your entire fucking family infertile!’”

“I think we might need something a bit more thought out than that,” Caleb said, “but that is certainly an excellent start. These papers here—” Caleb lifted a few of them off of the table— “talk about Vess De Rogna’s role in finding a suitable container for such a potent substance. And _these—_ ” He picked up two more “—are tips from Ikithon to Hass for scouting out particularly _talented_ students,” he said with disgust. “But in terms of transportation, they only speak of the ‘usual contact.’ I suppose that could be The Gentleman, but we don’t know for sure.”

“Well, I can just go and ask him, Caleb. He _is_ like, my dad and all.”

“Why don’t we just go there directly? We have two wizards who could bring us,” Veth said, gesturing at Caleb and Essek.

“We have to assume they’re monitoring all Teleportation magic that comes in and out of Rexxentrum,” Caleb said. “Even if I were to bring us into the Cobalt Soul, they might very well have eyes in there or on certain members. No offense,” he added, looking towards Beauregard.

“None taken. I’m thinking the same thing. Talking with The Gentleman is actually probably the safest bet,” Beauregard said. “If he’s not the one doing it, he’ll know who is, if nothing else. Criminals tend to keep tabs on other criminals. It’s like how all rich people are friends with each other, ya know?”

“That sounds like a good mission for the day,” Fjord said. “Go ask a criminal mastermind to help us unveil a conspiracy involving several very powerful magic users. Sure. Why not?”

“It’s gonna go great,” Caduceus smiled, tipping the last of the tea into Essek’s cup, who dutifully drank it. “We have a goal now. Goals are good. They’re the first steps towards a plan.”

“Leave in like an hour?” Beauregard suggested. “I didn’t get a chance to take a bath last night.”

“Oh yeah, me neither,” Jester said quickly.

“Yes, that sounds acceptable,” Caleb said. “Let’s let the stinky ones clean themselves up, and then we’ll leave.”

“All right.” Veth clapped her hands together. “TO THE GENTLEMAN!”

The Nein all echoed her cry with varying degrees of enthusiasm, Essek excluded. Perhaps this was another one of their strange, though charming, eccentricities. They all started drifting off to their own separate preparations, but as he had expected, Caleb made his way over and sat down next to him.

“You’re okay,” he asked quietly. “Right now, I mean?”

Essek nodded. “I am. I know my limits, and I’ve learned to live with… this,” he gestured at himself vaguely, “even when it’s bad.”

Caleb breathed slowly through his nose and took Essek’s hands, gently turning them over in his own. “I… did suspect, a bit, but I did not want to say anything in case I was wrong, and I assumed you would say something in your own time if you chose to. There’s nothing to be done?”

Essek shook his head slightly, and Caleb’s face fell. “No. I’ve made my own investigations, discretely of course, and there doesn’t seem to be, magical or otherwise.” He shrugged. “It is what it is, and knowing that doesn’t really bother me anymore. I made my choice, and I’d make it again.”

Caleb smiled a bit at that, though sadly. “Well, for whatever it’s worth, I am sorry you had to make it at all. That hardly seems fair to you.”

“Perhaps not,” Essek mused. “But life rarely is, it seems.”

Caleb sighed again, but then smiled more genuinely. “Well,” he said, lightly kissing the back of his knuckles and lifting Essek’s hand to his cheek. “To The Gentleman,” he said again.

Essek laughed, running his thumb over the thin layer of scruff that had grown on Caleb’s jaw the past few days. “To The Gentleman,” he echoed, happy to partake in the strangeness of it all.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to rework this chapter a lot to make sure it was where I wanted it to be, hence the delay, but... to the Gentleman! And enjoy some gratuitous Beaujester pining.

Jester yawned and stretched her arms super high up over her head as the bathtub started filling with water. For how fancy the Pillow Trove was supposed to be, you’d really think their pipes would be a lot less squeaky and rattle-y. Oh well, at least the water was nice and hot, and there were plenty of pretty-smelling oils and soaps to add as well. And the tub was _huge!_ She could easily turn into a goldfish and swim around in it if she wanted.

If they weren’t in the middle of a super secret important mission and she didn’t need to save her spells, she totally would have. But, for now, she settled for just peeling her robe off and climbing in, sighing contentedly and letting her tail flick slowly against the rim of the tub. Long baths were _so_ calming, and the Traveler said he wanted her to be nicer to herself, so she could get away with lounging for a while. Plus, she was a bit worried to see her Dad again, and she was hoping it would calm her nerves.

She’d been sorta aware, _obviously_ , that he was doing some shady and maybe kinda evil shit, but was he actually working with the Assembly? Maybe he just didn’t know how bad they were, or maybe they were tricking or blackmailing him or something. But like, if he _was_ evil, that wasn’t really the end of the world. After all, they’d already made Essek be a little less evil, she hoped, so maybe she could do the same thing for him. She would need to anyway so he could go back to the Menagerie Coast and marry her Mama, so she might as well start now.

Jester was scrubbing some rich person shampoo into her hair when the door opened. Beau started to walk in with a towel over her shoulders, her eyes widening when she saw Jester.

“Shit,” she said, turning around and starting to leave. “Fuck, sorry, I’ll wait until you’re done.”

“Nah, just jump in. It’s like, a _crazy_ big bathtub and there’s no more hot water and I need help washing my hair and we have to leave soon anyway.” Jester sat up and turned around to face the other wall and give Beau some privacy.

“I… uh… o—okay,” Beau stuttered. Jester heard some fabric shuffling and saw the water and bubbles ripple as Beau got in behind her.

“A- _hem_.” Jester looked over her shoulder and pointed to her head. “Beau! Hair, please.”

“Yep, sure, no problem.” Beau turned around while Jester tipped her head back, staring up at the ceiling and listening to the rain that was still pouring down on it. Beau started rubbing the conditioner into her scalp, and she sighed.

“So, uh… you excited to see your dad?”

Jester slapped her tail against the water, popping a few of the bubbles. “Well, yeah, totally. I mean… I’m a little worried if he’s working with the Assembly, but you know…” She let herself trail off.

“Well… we don’t know for sure what he knows.” Beau grabbed the fancy scoop-cup-thingy on the edge of the tub and filled it with water, rinsing Jester’s hair. “And if we tell him all the really fucked up shit they’re doing, I’m sure he’ll help us.”

Jester smiled. “Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking too. Gods, Beau, you’re so s _mart.”_

She couldn’t see Beau smile, but she could sense it all the same. “Thanks, Jes,” she said. “You’re pretty sharp yourself, you know?”

“Oh, of course I know _that.”_

Beau laughed a little, but thankfully _with_ her and not _at_ her. She smiled again when she heard it. She really hated when Beau was sad, and it made Jester _so_ happy when she could make her happy.

“Yeah, of course you do,” Beau said, rinsing the final few bubbles from Jester’s hair. She squeezed her eyes shut as the water ran over her face. A distant rumble of thunder drifted through the air, still strong enough to shake the walls, and Jester jumped a little.

“Do you think Yasha can like, control storms one day?” She asked Beau, then sat up and turned around to face her. “Like okay, maybe we’ll be in the middle of a battle with the Assembly and the Stormlord will be super proud of her, and he’ll give her the power to just, like, hit them all with _lightning!_ That would be _so_ cool!”

“It would be,” Beau agreed, rinsing her own hair. “Maybe the Wildmother will help Caduceus just turn them all into mushrooms, or tea leaves.”

Jester grinned. “I could turn them all into unicorn hamsters!”

Beau smiled. “That would definitely be a sight to see.” She reached for the shampoo and started pouring some into her hand.

“No no no no no, it’s your turn.” Jester scraped the shampoo out of Beau’s hand and leaned forward, scrubbing her scalp and pulling the suds through her hair. “Ugh,” she frowned at the grayish water that ran down Beau’s neck and chest, “how did we both get so dirty?”

“Well,” Beau said as Jester shifted onto her knees to get a better angle on the back of her head, careful not to scratch her tattoo, “some of that might be soot and ash from that one trap that almost set us on fire.”

“Oh _yeah_ , that was super scary!” Jester grabbed the water scoop and rinsed Beau’s hair. “Okay,” she asked as she grabbed a few bottles from the nearby table, sitting back down, “what scent of conditioner do you want? There’s lavender, peppermint, strawberry—”

“You decide,” Beau said. “Surprise me.”

Jester narrowed her eyes and tapped her chin with one finger, biting her lip again. Definitely strawberry. “Okay, but you have to plug your nose!”

Beau put her hands up once in surrender, but relented and pinched her nose shut while Jester lathered her hair, working diligently to get each and every strand.

“Are you done yet?” Her nasally voice asked after a minute or two.

“Be. Patient.” Jester returned to her scrubbing for a couple more moments. “Okay, hand me the weird cup thingy.”

Beau passed it to her and Jester rinsed her hair out a few times. “Okay,” Jester said, “ _now_ I’m all done! You may release your nose from its fingery prison.”

Beau snorted and removed the hand from her face, sniffing the air and licking her lips. “...Strawberry?”

Jester grinned. No wonder Beau had been made an Expositor. “Yep!”

There was another _boom_ of thunder, shaking the room so hard the water rippled and Jester snapped back to reality with a flinch. Beau put out one hand as if to steady her, but pulled it back.

“We, uh, we should get going,” Beau said, turning back around to stand up and grabbing one of the bathrobes. “The Gentleman probably has a lot of stuff on his plate today. Think you should send him a message?”

Jester’s heart sank, her tail falling into the water. Had she done something wrong? Oh man, had she just made Beau super uncomfortable with this whole bathing together thing? That was the last thing she’d wanted to do. “O—okay,” she managed, clambering out of the tub and removing the drain, pulling her own robe around her. “I… kinda wanted to surprise him, so I wasn’t really gonna tell him we’re coming.”

“Alright.” Beau stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her.

They both got dressed separately. Jester quickly pulled her comb through her damp hair to spruce it up a little before coming out to meet everyone else, her Haversack bouncing against her back. She led the way to the Evening Nip as they trudged through the rain, quickly ending up drenched and mud-stained around the edges of their cloaks and on their boots. Like the other times they’d all ventured into the city together, Fjord and Yasha had pulled their hoods up and Essek had disguised himself, so they made their way through the streets pretty easily.

Jester burst dramatically through the doors of her Dad’s inn and strode over to the bar, grinning as charmingly as she always did. “Hello,” she said sweetly, laying her palms flat on the gross, sticky countertop, “is my Dad here tod—”

Fjord cleared his throat abruptly and she looked back with a frown. He was shaking his head and Beau was drawing her hand across her neck over and over in a cutting motion. Jester’s eyes widened.

“Oh, right, um…” She turned back to the bartender, still smiling. “We. Come. Bringing many gifts…?” Jester hoped she remembered the code properly. At her Mama’s place, she could just walk in. This was still so weird to her. Why couldn’t her Dad just let her in whenever she wanted? Was he afraid she’d embarrass him in front of his super cool crime friends? That was stupid. She knew how to be cool and tough. Maybe she should have made herself look all goth before coming here. She’d definitely have to do that next time.

The bartender kept staring her down. Jester batted her eyes a few times and grinned a bit wider to seal the deal. It definitely worked, because the secret door thingy opened up behind the bar. “Make it quick.”

“Thank you so so muuuu- _uuch_ ,” Jester trilled as she led the way down the stairs, half pulling half pushing everyone along. The super secret criminal underground area looked the same as always, and she quickly caught sight of her Dad lounging at the booth in the corner, boots up on the table and probably doing all sorts of evil consorting with the people he was talking to.

“HI, DAD!” Jester shouted. She jumped up and waved her hand back and forth in the air before striding over. “It’s me, I missed you so so so so _so_ much!”

Her Dad’s eyes widened, and he quickly ushered away the people that he was talking to. “Jester,” he said with a tight smile as she approached. “What a… pleasant surprise it is to see you all again.” He cleared his throat, surveying the Mighty Nein as they trailed behind her, narrowing his eyes a bit at the halfling that used to be Nott and at Essek but not saying anything. “Tell me, uh, what _exactly_ are you doing here in Zadash?”

“Well,” she began, laying her hands on the table again for emphasis, “it’s a super super long story, but we’re here to get information on the Cerberus Assembly people, and we found some weird stuff we’re hoping you can help us with.”

The Gentleman blinked. “What, uh, what sort of weird stuff…?”

Caleb stepped forward, papers in hand. “It’s, ah, somewhat complicated, and it may take a while to explain all the moving parts. Do you mind if we sit down?”

Her Dad waved his hand. “Please.”

They all took a seat while Caleb explained. Jester tried to pay attention, she really did, but she’d already heard the whole spiel herself earlier and ended up mostly keeping an eye around the room. She saw Beau doing the same, eyes narrowed suspiciously at everyone who passed by, and tried to mirror the expression, baring her teeth for maximum effect.

The Gentleman nodded when Caleb was done talking, gazing at the papers over his steepled fingers. “Well, I won’t say I was entirely unaware of their goings-on.”

“So you _are_ that ‘usual contact’ they mentioned?” Beau asked.

“I am,” he confirmed. He leaned back into the booth, arm draped over one propped up knee. “They hire me and the Myriad on a fairly regular schedule, though I suspect I am not their only source for bringing these… these _potions_ , for simple lack of a better word, into Rexxentrum. They didn’t tell me _exactly_ what it was, of course, but, well, my business is largely in knowing things and the acquisition of more illicit information. I knew it was _something_ , something that probably did not have its consumer’s best interests at heart, but I couldn’t make any serious investigations into its components, for obvious reasons.”

“When are they sending out the next shipment?” Fjord asked. “From what we have here, it seems like it’s soon.”

“It is indeed. They reached out to me for the next one, ah, maybe a week ago? Ten days ago, that sounds right. It’s scheduled to go out early tomorrow morning. The escorts are already preparing themselves.”

“Does anyone from the Assembly go on these missions? Like, as a representative or something?” Jester wasn’t sure quite how all this mysterious crime stuff worked, but the Assembly seemed like the kind of people who would want to keep an eye on things.

“Oh no, that could implicate them if the shipment were to be intercepted. They’re typically very careful at covering their tracks. I can’t imagine all of _this—_ ” he gestured at the papers on the table— “was particularly easy to obtain. Am I wrong?”

“Nah, you’re pretty on point with that one,” Beau said, rubbing the back of her neck where that fucking blade trap from last night had almost sliced her head clean off. “Do they do anything else to keep watch? Like, magically?”

“Well, I don’t think you can like, Scry on just a random bottle of poison,” Jester said, frowning. “Or can you? Maybe I should try—”

“No, I’m pretty sure you can’t,” Caduceus interrupted. “They could Scry on the people escorting it, I assume, but that can be tricky if you don’t know them.”

“I do make sure to keep my escorts anonymous,” her Dad said. “They don’t even really know what it is they’re escorting, just that it requires discretion. Therefore, if the shipment _is_ , gods forbid, intercepted, there’s very little chance that the interceptors could trace it back to me.”

“Still,” Caleb muttered, “it’s safest to assume they are keeping watch _somehow_.”

“I agree,” Beau said grimly. She turned to Fjord. “How many times a day can you use that sword thing?”

Fjord, who had been absolutely _stuffing_ his face with some of the food that had been brought over, widened his eyes and held up a finger before swallowing. “Once,” he said, muffled, and swallowed again. “Lasts for an hour. But unless they _are_ Scrying, I don’t know how useful that’ll be.”

Jester had another idea then. “Wait wait wait, everybody hold on a second!” She held her hands up in the air real quick while the last few threads of her thoughts came together, and she started bouncing excitedly in her seat. “Okay okay okay, what if we do this instead: Dad, your Myriad people can take, like, a _decoy cart_ that has some fake stuff in it that’s just water or something like that along the journey to Rexxentrum, and then _we_ take the real one straight to the King!”

They all took a moment to digest what she said, looking varying levels of impressed. “That definitely sounds safer,” Caleb said. “We’ll have to make sure we’re keeping an eye out, but that could definitely work.”

“That is pretty smart,” Fjord said, and she smiled. “But,” he added, “as soon as the Assembly realizes the delivery is fake, all bets are off. We’ll have to work pretty fast.”

The Gentleman cleared his throat. “Just so that I’m on the same page, am I to understand that you all are planning to be the ones performing this escort mission?”

“Well, yeah! Is that okay?” Jester asked. “I mean, if it’s not, we can like, totally figure something else out because we’re super smart and stuff, but—”

“Just…” He gave her a look. “Just be careful. And _don’t—_ ” he pointed to each of them in turn, finger scanning across the table— “clue _anyone_ in outside of these walls that I’ve allowed this, or helped you, or knew about this in any way, or else my head will be hung out on the castle walls, and I have other plans for it.”

“Oh no no no no no no no, don’t worry, you’ll be totally safe,” Jester told him. If he got killed, he would never _ever_ see her Mama again—unless she brought him back, of course, but she’d rather not have to do that at all.

“Yeah. Gentleman who?” Beau asked.

“Never met him in our lives,” Fjord affirmed.

“If we’re captured and imprisoned, the very first thing we say is, ‘We have never ever met The Gentleman’, everyone understand?” Veth asked.

“Yes. We have never, ever met The Gentleman,” Yasha said.

Caduceus blinked. “Oh, we’re doing a thing. Yeah, no, I’ve never seen him before.”

Her Dad gave them all a look that Jester could only describe as _withering,_ and she rolled her eyes a little.

“Ugh, okay, seriously, don’t worry. We won’t mention you or anything like that.”

He gave her a thin smile. “Thank you. I do excel at keeping myself alive, but I enjoy having as many cards in my favor as possible.”

“You said the shipment goes out tomorrow morning?” Beau asked.

The Gentleman nodded. “I can put together a decoy cart in that time. I will have to tell the escorts what’s going on, just so that you’re aware. They’ll leave an hour or so before sunrise, you all might want to leave shortly after since it sounds like you’ll have a fairly narrow window to pull this off once you’re in the capital.” He shifted in his seat, leaning forward again. “There’s a fairly… dilapidated building, about a mile or so north of the city. Go there, when it’s time. Everything should be in place when you get there.”

Fjord nodded. “That sounds easy enough.”

“Excellent. Well, unless you all are in need of anything else…?” The Gentleman made a sweeping gesture back towards the door.

Jester’s heart fell a bit. Did he really not want to spend any time with her at all? Well, they were like, super busy right now anyway with everything that was going on. Maybe after this was all over, she could come by Zadash for a while and hang out with him.

They all said their goodbyes and exited out into the thoroughfare of Zadash. Jester narrowed her eyes, scanning for an apothecary or an alchemy shop or something like that, but found nothing despite her best efforts as they trudged back towards the Pillow Trove. Ah, shit. She was wondering if she could maybe find something to help Essek—

Oh gods. Essek. _“Essek,”_ she hissed, marching to the back of the group to face him, “that was _him_ , that was my Dad!”

“Yes, I gathered by all the times you referred to him as such,” he said, a bit startled.

“But why didn’t you say anything? I totally could have introduced you two!”

“I didn’t want to, ah, detract from the planning I knew you all needed to do.”

Jester flicked her tail. “Okay, that’s fair. Well, if we come back here later, maybe you can like, officially meet him then. Ooh, or maybe we could invite him and my Mama to see the Xhorhaus! And then they’ll fall in love again, and they’ll get married, and he’ll come back to live with her!” She grinned.

Essek blinked. “That… certainly sounds like an interesting plan,” he said as they all stepped towards the Pillow Trove. Now that she was standing next to him, she noticed he’d started floating again at some point, and that they’d fallen a bit behind everyone else now.

“It’s going to go _perfectly_.” Jester rushed forward to get the door for him and gave a dramatic sweep with her arm. “After you!”

Essek smiled at her. “Thank you,” he said as he drifted through the door and up the stairs with Jester on his heels. He dropped his disguise once they got back into their rooms, and Fjord and Yasha took off their heavy cloaks.

Jester sprawled out on one of the couches and consigned herself to spending her day there, doodling in her sketchbook. She drew her Dad, some potion bottles with a skull and crossbones on them (but the skulls had little X’s for eyes), a really big cart, a bunch of papers and letters, a strawberry—

She heard a faint chuckle in her ear, and she gasped softly. _“You’ve come a long way,”_ the Traveler whispered. _“I’m very proud of you, you know.”_

Jester positively _beamed_. She tapped each of her little drawings in turn with her finger before nodding once, satisfied, and sitting up. She blinked, realizing just how much time had passed. It was well into the afternoon now, probably almost evening. It was weird, being in Zadash where there was sunlight after spending so much time in Rosohna. She could hear Caduceus getting started on dinner with Fjord trying to help. Yasha was idly plucking at her harp from over by the window, taking suggestions from Veth. Caleb was playing with Frumpkin with a bit of string, trying to goad him over to where Beau was doing push-ups on the floor. Essek was reading in a chair across from her, a cup of tea steaming on the table beside him.

She stared him down, chewing on the end of her pencil, thinking of all the different things she wanted to ask him. _Hey Essek, did you think my Dad was super cool? What was your Dad lik_ _e?_ Or _Hey Essek, do your hands hurt? Do you want to try drawing_ _with me_ _and see if that helps?_ Or maybe _Hey Essek, what are you going to do after this? Are you going back to Rosohna, or will you stay with us_ _forever and ever_ _?_

But she decided against it. She had to have _something_ to do while they were traveling to Rexxentrum, after all. Instead, she went back to drawing for the evening, occasionally looking up when Caduceus brought food over and adjusting herself to lean against Beau when she joined Jester on the couch. She tuned in and out to the planning going on around her. They’d have to wake up pretty early to make the meeting in time, so they were gonna have to have an early night.

Which was how Jester found herself curled up next to Beau as the sun set. She was in the habit of wrapping her tail around Beau’s leg so that they didn’t get separated—she’d done that ever since the Iron Shepherds—but she kept her distance tonight, still worried she’d overstepped earlier.

It was just, she couldn’t figure out if Beau _liked_ liked her or just saw her as a friend. And she wouldn’t mind if she did feel that way, not at all! She… kinda wanted her to? Maybe just a little? Like, she was pretty sure that pretty much _everyone_ had a bit of a crush on her, but she loved all of her friends _so_ much that sometimes she wasn’t quite sure _what_ kind of love it was. And she knew that you could love more than one person at a time, but that only made it more complicated. _Ugh._ In her stories, this was all so much _easier._

Jester eventually went to sleep, digging her horns deep into her feather pillow until they almost ripped it apart. But a place called the fucking Pillow Trove had to have lots of spare pillows, so she wasn’t super worried or anything like that. She dreamed of hamster unicorns eating strawberries to counteract the poison in their tea, and it was still dark when she woke up to the sound of Beau getting her stuff together.

“Mornin’ Jes,” she whispered. From her angle on the bed, Jester could see she was in the middle of filling her pockets with tiny shampoo bottles and soaps. “We gotta go in a bit, Caleb said sunrise is in like two hours and six minutes. Caduceus already made some food for us to bring.”

Jester’s eyes widened at that and she jumped out of bed, grabbing her things that were still strewn around and stuffing them into her bags. Caduceus’s food was _so_ good and it always started off their mornings right. She grabbed Sprinkle from his makeshift little perch in their living room and put him around her neck as they walked out into the still dark, still rainy city.

It was a long trek out to where her Dad had told them to meet, but they still managed to make it there before it was light out. Beau had pulled on her super cool goggles, and Caleb had put one hand on her shoulder while he sent Frumpkin ahead of them. The cart was ready for them, and there were some Myriad people preparing the decoy one a few feet away.

Jester waved to them. “Hi,” she said. “We’re gonna be traveling behind you guys for a while, okay? So like, if you need anything or you want some company, you can just let us know.”

A few of them grumbled at her, but one of them did wave back. She smiled. Maybe it was just too early for them to feel like talking. She could be grumpy in the mornings too. Maybe she should ask Fjord to make them some coffee if they had any left. Ah _shit_ , she should have stopped at a bakery and picked up some doughnuts for everyone.

Their cart was pretty big. There was a covered section with some old boxes and crates, nothing that looked poison-y. Jester was a bit puzzled at that, but the floor _creaked_ and shifted a bit under her feet as she stepped in, and she realized that the real deal was probably underneath them. Thankfully, that meant there would be enough space inside for all of them to ride comfortably.

Caduceus sat at the front with the horses and grabbed their reins, and Jester plopped down next to him. “Everybody ready?” He called over his shoulder.

They all grumbled their agreement, still pretty tired for the most part. Yasha was already sprawled out on the floor to take a nap, and Caleb was trying to hide his yawns.

“We’re ready,” Veth called back. “TO REXXENTRUM!”

They all groaned, Beau and Fjord covering their ears and cursing her out. Essek pressed his fingers to his temple with a wince, gritting his teeth. Yasha sat straight up and pulled her sword partially out of its sheath on her back, staring her down.

Veth’s eyes widened and she scrabbled away to the corner of the cart. “Shit, shit, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry!”

Yasha laid back down, rolling over without another word. Jester heard her snoring just a few seconds later, the sound making the whole cart shake. She sat back next to Caduceus, happily pulling out her book to draw more as the cart set off into the dark, gloomy morning.

The ground was super wet and muddy, but at least the rain had eased up a bit and the drivers’ seat was covered with a tarp thing. She wondered if she could maybe paint like, a really big umbrella for the horses, since it didn’t seem like it was going to stop raining anytime soon.

She gasped. “Caduceus,” she hissed, “we need to name the horses!”

“Huh, you’re right.” He glanced over his shoulder to where the others were either dozing or out cold. “Maybe once everyone is a bit more awake, we can have a vote. You want some breakfast pie?”

Jester held her hands out eagerly and he gave her a small bundle from one of his bags. She unwrapped it and dug in, definitely getting crumbs all over herself but not really caring. She sighed happily and leaned back, chewing on the mushrooms in the pie. This was nice, just like old times.

“Do you think anything is going to try to attack us?” She asked, licking her fingers.

“Oh, absolutely,” Caduceus said. He flicked the reins. “What do you guys think?”

The horses nickered. The one on the left twitched its ear and _huffed_ sharply through its weird horse nose.

“What are they _saying_?” She demanded.

“They seem to think so too.”

Jester started drawing the horses, ironing out the details as the sun dragged itself up over the horizon. She did keep an eye out of course, because that was like, her entire job, but she didn’t really see anything too weird. Once the sun was about as shiny as it could get with the rain, which was really just this lame dull gray glow, Fjord came up to take her place and she clambered into the back of the cart.

By now, pretty much everyone was awake. Yasha was awake and sitting next to Beau, leaving room for Jester to sit on the floor with her legs crossed under her.

“Okay,” Jester said. She held up two fingers. “Two things. One, we need to decide on names for the horses. And two, I’m thinking that _maaaaaaybe_ I should try to Scry on one of the people in Rexxentrum. Like, the King or something like that, or maybe just the castle, or the Martinet’s office.” She knew she probably wouldn’t be able to Scry on the Assembly members themselves—she’d tried every now and then when they were in Zadash—but she was just _dying_ to know what was going on over there.

“Well, let’s address that second point first,” Caleb said, “because that could be very dangerous and seriously backfire.”

“Okay, but, I don’t think they know it’s _me_ that’s trying to Scry on them or anything like that.”

“I’m just worried that their defenses could be harmful to those who try to breach them.” Caleb rubbed the back of his neck. “Their warding systems are powerful and complex, and I’m not too sure it’s worth the risk, at least not yet.”

Jester shrugged. Caleb was super smart and knew a ton about the Assembly, so she trusted him. “Okay, if you’re sure… What about the horses, then?”

Nott, who was chewing on an old piece of bacon, was the first to speak up. “Well, they’re carrying a cart filled with really toxic magical poison, so _I_ think we should call one of them Poison Horse.”

“Okay okay, good idea,” Jester wrote the name next to the drawing in her book. “What about the other?”

There was a pause before Beau cleared her throat. “How about Horse Thaddeus?”

“That’s bound to just drive it away,” Fjord said as he took a sip of water. Beau punched him in the arm.

“Okay, what about Eleanor?” Jester suggested. She’d had a super cool plush horse named Eleanor when she was a little girl, but she’d had to leave Toy Eleanor at the Chateau when she’d left.

“I like that,” Yasha said. “It’s pretty.”

“Yeah, Eleanor sounds dope,” Beau added.

“Okay, Eleanor it is.” Jester wrote _Eleanor_ as prettily as she could by her drawing of the other horse, satisfied.

She spent most of her day drawing, occasionally eating whatever Caduceus passed back. They did stop for the evening when the sun started setting. Apparently the need to keep the potions safe from robbers and weird creatures outweighed the need to travel super duper fast. They end up camping maybe sixty feet or so back from the other cart, safely next to their own within the dome that Caleb set up. Thankfully it wasn’t all wet and dreary in there like it was outside.

Jester couldn’t sleep though. She tossed and turned, curiosity eating away at her mind. She chewed her lip, debating. It would only take like, maybe twenty minutes at the _most_ for her to Scry on the King’s throne room. And Caduceus was right there if it did fry her brain or something like that. What if they were discussing something super important _right now_ that could blow this whole thing wide open and she was _missing_ it?

That thought was enough for her to stand up. She carefully stepped around her friends, almost tripping over Yasha as she hopped out of the Tiny Hut.

“Where are you going?” Caduceus whispered to her from where he was sitting, carefully keeping watch over them all.

“ _Shhhhhhh,”_ Jester hissed, swatting her hands through the air. “I just— _shh—_ I’ll be right back, okay?”

Caduceus sighed at her. “Alright,” he grumbled. “Just be careful. They might know you’re watching them.”

“Yeah yeah yeah, don’t worry, just give me like, twenty minutes.”

She stepped out of the Hut and sat down on the soggy ground and set up to start Scrying. As the minutes passed and she focused, holding the crystal ball in her hands, she felt a second pair wrap around her now cold and wet fingers.

Jester heard the Traveler exhale. _“Rexxentrum, huh? Well, let’s see if we hear anything sneaky,_ _why don’t we_ _?”_

Her gaze flew through the trees above their head, drifting northward towards the city. Jester saw the buildings rush towards her, and for a split second she wondered if she’d crash into the Candles before her vision started making its way through the castle walls and the throne room came into view. She saw King Dwendal on his throne with some other important looking people, all talking about something.

“And all troops have been withdrawn from their positions in the Ashkeepers?” The King rasped.

One of the military looking people nodded. “Yes, my liege,” they said. “A few are still making their way back into the reaches of the Empire, but most have returned safely.”

“Good. Spare no expense with ensuring their safe return. Our soldiers have been through enough.”

They inclined their head. “Of course, my king,” they said, and sat back down.

There was a blur of movement at the edge of Jesters Scry-sight. She tried to focus on it, but she still couldn’t make it out. It was like there was something in her eye, and it threw her for a loop. She gasped a bit, realizing it had to be one of the Assembly members. Jester looked further in that direction and sensed two more blind spots in that direction. Shit. _Shit_. It had to be the three of them. She couldn’t think of anyone else it could be.

The first blur seemed to be in a standing position of some kind. She didn’t hear a voice, but the King had turned his head towards it and was nodding slowly, lost in thought.

“Yes, of course. Thank you, Martinet.”

_Fuuuuuuu-uuuuuck._

The King turned back to the military-looking person. “Send orders to leave a few behind, for now. Just in case the Kryn Queen gets any ideas.”

They bristled. “My king, I do have to disagree with—”

“My mind is made up, Crown Marshal,” King Dwendal spat. Then he sighed and waved his hand. “You are all dismissed for the evening. We will reconvene tomorrow.”

Everyone started leaving. Jester quickly ended her Scry, gasping as her vision came back to her, her heart feeling like it might jump out of her chest and start screaming right there with her. She was _pretty sure_ they hadn’t seen her, but _holy shit_ she hadn’t thought the Assembly would be there too.

Caduceus looked up at her as she entered the dome with a huff. “Everything go okay?”

Jester nodded. “Mm hmm, yeah, yeah, it went totally perfect, everything’s fine, no need to worry at all.”

“Are you s—”

“Good night, Caduceus!” Jester curled up next to Beau again, breathing deeply and trying to calm herself down. With the rush of adrenaline and anger leaving her, she felt really tired all of a sudden. She looked up at the sky through the dome, trying to just watch it and relax.

The storm _had_ cleared up a little, and she saw the occasional star twinkle through the clouds as she slowly drifted off to sleep. It was so calm, so soothing, that she took no notice of the shifting shape in the trees, or the quick snap of a stick, or the faint growling sounds, until it was too late.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said I'd keep each work at like 10k words? Lmao. Well, here we are with the last chapter! Next work will be out at some point soon, I'm about halfway through outlining at this point. Also, turns out I do have a job after all, but not for a few weeks, so I have some time to keep dedicating towards writing.
> 
> If you want to keep an eye out for updates, you can find them on my Tumblr (also viciousmollymaukery) as I typically post them there as well. I have a Twitter too, but it's mostly just memes, pictures of my bastard cats, and yelling about astrophysics, so unless that's your thing don't worry about it.
> 
> Enjoy!

Caleb’s eyelids snapped apart when the stick in the forest did, the words _Scourgers_ and _Uk’otoa_ and _Jagentoths_ and every horrible thing that was haunting them at any given moment shooting through his sleep-addled brain before he could even finish blinking. His breath caught and he froze for a moment, not daring to move, trying to get a feel for his surroundings. Essek was still asleep next to him, one arm tucked around Caleb’s chest. One of Veth’s packs was pressed against his spine and he could feel the tip of a crossbow bolt digging into his hip, bound to leave a bruise in the morning. He could see Beauregard’s boots, and doubtless she and Jester were dozing somewhere up above his head.

He heard more movement, closer this time, he thought, but he couldn’t see more than a few yards out of the dome. Whatever it was, it was loud enough to be heard over the pattering of rain against the top of the Hut and the distant claps of thunder. He shifted slightly to get a better look and saw Caduceus staring out into the woods from a few feet away, eyes narrowed and his mouth set in a hard line, staff held tight in hand. He met Caleb’s eyes and mouthed _wake them up_ , pointing around the Tiny Hut and reaching down towards Fjord and Yasha.

He lightly shook Essek’s shoulder before gently pulling them both upright into a sitting position. “ _Schatz,_ wake up,” he whispered as quietly as he could.

“ _Ow,”_ Essek hissed softly, eyes fluttering open. “What is it? Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know yet. Wait here, please,” he breathed.

He maneuvered his way over towards Veth and started shaking her. She shot up and started grabbing for her crossbow, preparing to scream, and Caleb clamped a hand down over her mouth. She stared at him, indignant and incensed.

“ _Shh!”_ He raised a finger to his lips. _“There is something out there,”_ he breathed, the sound hardly there at all, pointing with his other hand out into the forest. There was another _crack_ and the sound of some sort of growl to emphasize his point. Veth’s eyes widened in fear, but there was understanding in them as well, and he pulled his hand away as she nodded and scrabbled to her feet.

Caleb slowly crawled upwards and poked Beauregard in the face, who was snoring loudly with one arm draped over Jester. She snorted and smacked his hand away, leaving it stinging, but she seemed to gauge the situation pretty quickly when her eyes opened. She gripped her staff and pulled herself up onto her other elbow, looking around for whatever was about to eat them alive.

There was another deep _growl_ from the forest that seemed to shake the very ground. They all froze, Beauregard with one hand reaching up to wake up Jester, whose eyes flew open anyway at the sound, face going a pale, sky blue color with fear. Yasha had one hand on the Skingorger, but Fjord hadn’t had the time to summon the Star Razor. Caleb saw the faint glow of light greenish energy as he held an Eldritch Blast at the ready, just in case this whole thing went to shit and he had to drop the Hut after all.

At last, there was visible movement at the edge of the treeline, and a dark, hulking shape made its way out of the woods, maybe twenty feet away from where they were camped on the side of the road. Between the darkness and the distance, Caleb hadn’t been able to discern any defining features of the whatever-it-was, but he thought he saw a large head crane up and sniff the air before swiveling towards them, illuminated by a nearby flash of lightning.

They were safe, he reminded himself as the thunder boomed and he now saw six yellow eyes above a row of glistening white teeth baring in their direction, saliva dripping from them in thick globules. Nothing could get through the dome. That was part of why he’d learned the spell in the first place. Even Gelidon, an ancient white dragon, hadn’t been able to get inside. They could wait for it to walk past them and continue on towards—

The other cart. The other cart, where the Gentleman’s people had set up their own camp, markedly _without_ a Tiny Hut to keep them safe. _Scheisse_.

The creature shuffled towards them, ambling awkwardly and swinging its head from side to side. Jester’s nails dug into his shoulder and Beauregard’s arm, and they each covered her hands with one of their own. Caleb gritted his teeth as the _thing_ shuffled by, its grey, leathery side almost brushing against the side of the dome. Caduceus, on the side closest to it, gripped his staff and shifted it slightly just in case, one arm extended to shield Fjord and Yasha.

The creature paused, swung its head, and gave another deep, forceful _sniff_ in their direction. He saw Jester squeeze her eyes shut and Veth raise her crossbow, aiming for where the thing’s heart presumably was, muttering a string of swear words that would put the crew of the Ball Eater to shame. Yasha’s fingers flexed around the grip of the Skingorger so tightly it rattled in its sheath. Essek was holding a shard of _something_ in his fingers, whispering a few arcane words under his breath like a mantra. Caleb’s heart was pounding in his ears, fingers twitching towards his component pouch to reach for some string and phosphorous. They could probably take this thing if they absolutely had to, but the last thing they needed was to draw attention to themselves. Something bigger could come along, or more of these.

It sniffed again, then once more, and with a deep, bone-rattling snarl _,_ it turned back away from them and continued slouching away, nose still held high.

They all slowly relaxed as they watched it leave, exhaling as more distance grew between the beast and them. By some small miracle, it kept crossing the street and did _not_ go after the other cart. It instead stepped through the opposite treeline, snapping twigs and trampling bushes as it slowly vanished. Perhaps it wasn’t hungry, he wondered, or just wasn’t that interested in them.

Jester’s claws slid out of his shoulder, and he released her hand as she covered her mouth with it. _“Holy shit,”_ she hissed. “What the ever loving _fuck_ was that?”

“I’m not sure,” Caleb whispered, “but there might be more of them lurking around somewhere.”

“Should we keep moving? Like, just drop everything and run?”

Caleb deliberated for a moment, scratching at his forearms and sighing heavily. The creatures, if there were indeed more than one, couldn’t get through the Tiny Hut, but if they took notice of it then they could very well surround them and wait for it to wear off depending on how many there were. But, wherever they relocated could very well be home to even more of them, or something worse. They needed to be quick and discrete with this whole operation, for all of their sake.

“We could sleep in the cart,” Beauregard offered. “Just keep moving through the night.”

“Well, I won’t be able to give us the dome if we do that,” Caleb warned her.

“Aw, really? Damn. Fuckin’ magic.”

“Let’s just stay here for now,” Fjord said. “We don’t know if they travel in packs, but we could stumble onto a whole shit ton of them if we move. If we see another one of those—those _whatever-the-fucks,_ or if it comes back, then we leave. How’s that?”

“Essek, have you ever seen one of those before?” Jester inquired.

Essek looked up sharply. Caleb noticed he’d started floating again, clenching and releasing his left hand. “Hm? No, I do not believe so. I’ve certainly never been in the boundaries of the Empire long enough to encounter such a thing, and it doesn’t match up to anything I remember reading.”

“That thing was _soooo_ scary, I’m _totally_ going to draw it in the morning. Do you want to draw with me?” Jester clasped her hands together and grinned, eyes wide.

“Ah… in the morning, sure,” Essek said delicately. “I would love to.”

“Yeah, we should all get some rest,” Caduceus rumbled, gaze sweeping over the woods one more time. Caleb took another cursory glance as well, but the darkness was as much of an impediment to his vision as always, and the shapes deeper in the forest could have been anything from trees to statues to portals to the Feywild.

“I can keep watch with you,” Fjord said. “An extra pair of eyes can’t hurt.”

“No, they can’t.”

They all settled back down. Caleb could hear shuffling and muttering and hushed conversations, the usual sounds of the Mighty Nein preparing for rest, or as close to rest as they typically ended up getting. Yasha had drawn both of her swords and slept with one in each hand. Veth was wrapped around her crossbow, scanning the forest around them.He laid back down next to Essek, who was curled into a loose ball under the green cloak Jester had made for him, eyes already half closed.

“Here,” he whispered, carefully pulling Essek’s upper body mostly onto his chest. “Beauregard forgot to swipe the pillows when she was leaving, it seems.”

“Hm. I did catch notice of her pilfering the liquor cabinet on the way out, however,” Essek murmured, settling his head against Caleb’s collarbone.

“Always the essentials with that one.” As gently as he could, he took Essek’s left hand in his own and slowly massaged his fingers, as if he could return some feeling to them. “This is okay?” He asked. It was unimaginably frustrating to learn that that there was little to nothing Caleb could do to help him, and the absolute last thing he wanted to do was make things worse for him.

Essek nodded. “The warmth helps, a bit,” he sighed. Not even two minutes later, Caleb felt him fall asleep, breathing turning deeper and muscles relaxing a bit more.

He smiled a bit and snapped Frumpkin up on top of the Hut, who paced for a bit and flicked his tail, mewling and hissing at the apparently perpetual rain. He looked down at Caleb and tilted his head, scratching one paw at the dome beneath him.

“Don’t give me that look,” Caleb warned, pointing up at him with his free hand. “Watch, please. I will give you many treats when we get to Rexxentrum.”

Frumpkin hissed at him one last time but sat at attention all the same, ears pointed angrily and flicking occasionally whenever a stray drop hit them.

The words _when we get to Rexxentrum_ kept bouncing around Caleb’s skull, keeping him from going back to sleep. They were really going. They were really doing this. Was this completely mad? It had to be. Why were they going there? Why was he bringing all of _them_ there? They didn’t stand a chance, they were all going to die, _he_ was going to kill his friends one by one or lock them all up to rot in the—

Caleb took a deep breath, then another, trying to concentrate on the feeling of the air entering and leaving his lungs. Focus. _Focus._ He’d already gone over this with himself time and time again. Their plan was solid, or at least had the potential of being so. Jester had replenished her diamond supply back in Rosohna. According to Beauregard, the Cobalt Soul, or at least the few members she knew she could trust, would be waiting in the wings throughout the whole thing. And if it all went to shit, there was a very powerful wizard curled up next to him who could Teleport them all away at a moment’s notice. If nothing else, they could get through this reasonably intact.

He didn’t remember falling asleep, but a familiar shimmering sound was what woke him up, and he opened his eyes a few seconds after the Tiny Hut spell ended. Some of the others were milling about already—Caduceus had made some tea, giving cups of it to Essek and Yasha—but almost everyone was still asleep.

“Up,” Caleb said, reluctantly hauling himself to his feet. “Up,” he said, louder. He stepped around everyone, nudging Veth awake with the tip of his boot. “We need to get moving.”

There was a cacophony of noise, groans of protest mostly, but they didn’t have the dome anymore and it was dangerous to linger here for too long after what had happened last night. Within a few minutes, they were back on track, following in path of the decoy cart a few hundred feet ahead. Caleb was keeping watch up by the front with Caduceus when the clambering of his friends a couple of hours later finally caught his ear.

“I mean, what’s the absolute worst thing that can happen?” Veth was asking. “Jessie, you bought more diamonds, right?”

“Well, _yes_ , but—”

“So I’ll be _fine_.”

Caleb turned around, stomach filling with dread, and took in the scene. The floor of the cart was open. One of the crates had been removed and was sitting next to the trapdoor, sealed shut. Everyone had gathered around it, and Veth was standing in front of it with her set of lockpicks out in her hands. “What is this about?” He inquired.

“Nott wants to open one of the potions and examine it,” Fjord informed him. “And we’re trying to tell her that we don’t know how it’s sealed or what’s in it, and that she could die.”

“Okay, hold on, I think _dying_ is probably a bit extreme,” Beauregard protested.

“Oh, and Beau is encouraging her,” Fjord added.

“We could at least see if there are any insta-killing wards on the crates or that sort of thing before we investigate,” Beauregard said, glaring at Fjord and trying not-so-subtly to step on his feet.

“Yeah yeah yeah, I mean, I’m married to an _alchemist_ after all. I just wanna see it.” Veth wiggled her fingers, staring at the crate.

Caleb sighed. Any information she got could prove useful, but it was risky all the same. “Here, will you give me a few minutes, please?” He sat in front of the crate and began casting Detect Magic.

The others watched him as he worked, anxiously. Beauregard paced back and forth anxiously, which was really only three or four steps with how small the cart was. Veth kept looking over his shoulder to ask if he was done, but he managed to ignore her.

Finally, the ritual finished. As Caleb had expected, the crate itself was sealed with an abjuration spell of some kind, but it wasn’t designed to damage anyone who tried to open it. That being said, it could be next to impossible to unlock. He said as much to Veth, who frowned.

“Well, if it won’t hurt, I can at least try, right?” Veth pulled out her lockpick and stepped forward. Caleb relented and slid away as she started jimmying the chains. He heard her swear occasionally over the sounds of the tumblers clinking together.

After two minutes and fifty two seconds, the chains fell away from the crate with a clatter. Fjord’s jaw dropped and Jester started clapping. “GOOD JOB, VETH!” She shouted.

“Thank you, thank you both very much. _Now—”_ she reached into the crate and pulled out a small, curved bottle— “let’s see what this bad boy does.”

The bottle was strange, and his interest was immediately piqued. Examining it closer, Caleb saw it seemed to have veins of faintly glowing residuum baked into it, and its shape was odder than his initial inspection had shown. Something about the general shape and design felt familiar, but he couldn't place it. Was it from the Age of Arcanum? Or a replica of such an artifact? De Rogna had to be behind its design, one way or another. Once the Assembly was taken down, perhaps he could get access to her research and figure it out for himself.

He spent most of the day studying both the bottle and the potion itself along with her. Veth set up her alchemy supplies and took a small sample of it, which immediately stained and distorted the glass slides it was placed onto. But despite a few setbacks, they were able to figure out that it indeed “magically cockblocked” people, as Beauregard kept saying, and that it slowly sapped away at the target’s constitution, which was troubling. Caleb was relieved, at least, that the material itself didn’t seem especially caustic or likely to bring them to harm unless they consumed it.

“Fjooooooord,” Jester drawled from the spot where she’d cornered Essek and forced him to draw with her as the day stretched towards evening, “how far away are we from Rexxeeeeeeentruuuuuuuum?”

Fjord pulled out the map Beauregard had purchased back in Rosohna from what had to be some sort of pocket dimension granted by the Wildmother. “Well,” he said, “based on this _wonderful, expertly crafted_ map here, it’s probably about… uh, maybe three hundred and fifty miles or so. Which is like, two weeks total travel if we keep up our current rate of travel.”

Two weeks. That was far too long. Something would snag them off the road by then, or the Assembly would figure out that Essek was still alive and send more Scourgers to Rosohna, who would then go to Nicodranas, then to Zadash and start following them, and ambush them in the night and kill them all. There was no such thing as a dead trail. Caleb had been taught that much.

“What if we, ah, picked up the pace a bit? And maybe took shifts watching so we could travel through the night?” Caleb suggested.

Fjord screwed up his face as he looked at the map, scratching the back of his head. “If we did that… nine days? Maybe ten?”

“NINE,” Veth shouted.

“NINE,” Beauregard echoed.

“We do have the other cart to worry about,” Fjord continued, pointedly ignoring them, “and if the weather doesn’t break, that could slow us down too. And we won’t be as stealthy, either,” he warned.

“I have Seeming, so I can disguise us if we have to,” Caleb said.

“And every now and then I can cast Pass Without a Traaaa-aaace!” Jester trilled, raising her hand enthusiastically. “So we can be both sneaky and secret, right, Caleb?”

“Yes, right,” Caleb agreed. She high-fived him, and he smiled despite the fact that they were discussing how to best approach and infiltrate one of the most dangerous organizations in the entire world.

“The Myriad people might not be so keen on that,” Fjord said, the map vanishing back into the aether.

“I’m sure we can smooth them over,” Caduceus called over his shoulder from where he was driving the horses.

“Yes, we’re very charming people,” Veth said, large alchemist goggles still covering most of her face.

“What about the dome?” Beauregard asked. “You said we won’t be able to have it if we travel through the night.”

“That is true, but I think we can risk it, at least for now. Expedience is key here, as much as discretion is. The longer we are out on the road, the larger a chance we stand of being caught.”

It _was_ a risk, but one Caleb had carefully calculated and was willing to make if it meant this would all be over sooner. As much as he dreaded finishing this trip, as it could very likely be a death march, and more so reaching the destination to which it led, he didn’t trust his nerves to last him if it took two weeks. Better to make it quick.

Beauregard shrugged. “Alright, that’s fine by me. If another monster comes along, we can just kick its ass.”

“Yeah, those freaky fucks don’t stand a chance,” Veth said, putting away her alchemy kit.

“I do feel like it’s been a while since we’ve last killed something weird.” Yasha rolled her shoulders, the joints popping loudly.

“Well, we might have quite a lot of that soon, depending on how this all goes,” Caleb said to her. At least, if it came down the a fight, he sincerely hoped they would be the ones doing most of the killing. They’d already gotten far too close to permanently losing one of them to these people, and none of them wanted to lose another. He snapped Frumpkin back into existence at the thought, who padded quietly towards the back of the cart to keep watch, nuzzling everyone as he went past.

“I’m sure _something_ will, like, try to eat us or kill us or something like that soon enough,” Jester said, twirling her colored pencil in her fingers.

“ _Please_ don’t say that. Why would you say something like that?” Fjord asked, putting his head in his hands.

“The last thing we need is a big fight,” Caduceus said with his back still to them all, flicking the horses’ reins. “The bigger the fight, the bigger the eyes that get drawn towards it.”

“Yes, _thank you,_ Caduceus.” Fjord stood up and stretched, back cracking. “Well, I’m gonna go try to persuade the criminals leading us quite possibly to our deaths to do so even faster, if anyone wants to join me.”

“Ooh, ooh, I’ll come!” Jester raised her hand. “I think I have some pastries left over somewhere, and I can let them pet Sprinkle.”

“I’m not sure how stoked they’ll be to touch a dead animal,” Veth muttered.

Jester’s head snapped in her direction. “Huh?”

“Nothing, nothing, I—I didn’t say anything, I was talking about the—the poison,” Veth said quickly.

Jester narrowed her eyes but said nothing as she hopped off the cart alongside Fjord, skipping happily along the road to reach the other cart. With a bit of luck the group should be able to start picking up speed before nightfall. Sure enough, they were both happy to report when they returned that, with some words from Fjord and offerings of pastries, and perhaps a brief charm effect or two, The Gentleman’s people were more than willing to accommodate them.

Caduceus flicked the reins again and the horses picked up speed, the cart lurching and creaking a bit with the sudden acceleration. Veth almost toppled from the side bench and Beauregard had to grab Jester’s shoulder to steady herself. But, with that, their arrival became that much sooner and started inching that much closer. Caleb took a deep breath, anxiety flaring again. They were going to be fine. He’d seen how amazing these people were. They could do this.

Still, the days they spent on the road after that became a bit of a blur to him. There was planning, and brainstorming, and Scrying, and tea shared, and spells copied, and allies warned, and questions asked, but it all seemed to bleed together to a certain degree. There were only so many times they could reiterate their plans—enter Rexxentrum in disguise, split off from the decoy cart, bring the papers and potions as proof, wait until the Assembly went to collect their false wares, and approach the King. From there, it was more a matter of flapping their gums until the right thing came out and he had to see what was happening right under his nose.

At least nothing deadly had attacked them on the way, Caleb thought as their final day on the road drew to a close. By Fjord’s estimates, they should reach Rexxentrum sometime the next morning, probably a little after dawn. Caleb hoped that meant they could catch the Assembly off guard and slip into the city without them noticing. They needed every advantage they could get, and if the element of surprise was on their side, all the better.

Caleb breathed deeply, staring at the people around him in the cart through the darkness, asleep to varying degrees of depth. He was getting the distinct feeling, again, that he was leading them all to their deaths or worse. They’d rushed into this, hadn’t they? They’d gotten a single fucking thread and chased it, not questioning it or analyzing it nearly enough. Was this whole thing some kind of trap? An attempt to ensnare them all, or have them all ensnare themselves so none of the Assembly had to get their hands dirty? It would make perfect sense after all. Give the stupid, reckless, impulsive Mighty Nein a clue that would lead them directly to their doorstep, ripe for the taking. Then it was just a matter of picking them off and their problems could solve themselves. No more wily adventurers to hinder their plots, no more loose ends to expose their wrongdoings, no more escaped, pyromaniacal, parents-slaughtering wizards—

He felt a sharp, stabbing pain in his forearm, and realized he’d scratched at his old scars hard enough to draw blood. Cursing himself, Caleb drew his hand away and tried to wipe the crimson stains out from under his fingernails, scraping them along the sleeves of his coat. He was shaking, everything was spinning, he couldn’t _breathe—_

“Caleb.” A pair of dark purple hands cautiously reached for his own, pulling them away from his arms. “Can you hear me?”

He nodded, inhaling sharply, still dizzy. Essek’s hands were ice cold, he realized distantly as he laced their fingers together and squeezed as tightly as he could, forcing air into his unwilling lungs. “Sorry,” he said after a few moments, relaxing his grip with a flash of guilt. “I, um…” Caleb blinked. Of course he’d ruin this too. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Essek shook his head. “You didn’t. You’re not.” He cupped Caleb’s face with his other hand and leaned over to meet his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Caleb laughed softly, looking away for a moment. “This is a terrible idea,” he whispered, staring at his family members sprawled out on the floor. “This is all going to fall apart, and we are all going to die horribly, or worse.” There were so, so many worse things the Assembly could do to them. He was intimately familiar with their methodologies.

Essek nodded. “Okay. Well,” he said slowly, “if by some small chance we _do_ die horribly, Jester has diamonds to Revivify us all, and so does Caduceus. But, with any luck, we won’t have to face any of them at all until it’s too late.”

“They’re smart, they’ll know to take out our healers first,” Caleb protested softly.

“Odds are, they won’t even know we’re _there.”_ Essek paused. “Would you feel better if I contacted the Bright Queen? Sent a request for some additional aid?”

Caleb nodded. “Yes.” Then he shook his head, remembering everything he’d said back in Zadash about her losing her mind. “No. I—I don’t know.” He leaned forward, placing his head between his knees and squeezing Essek’s hand again.

“Alright,” Essek whispered, laying his other hand between Caleb’s shoulders. “Alright, no Bright Queen. That might just endanger us more, and we can take care of ourselves. But,” he added, “the clerics are prepared, so even if we _do_ die, we’re safe.”

“ _Safe?”_ Caleb laughed bitterly, looking up at him. “Nothing about this is _safe_ , Essek.”

Essek smiled. “Perhaps that was a poor choice of words on my part. This is dangerous,” he admitted. “But we _can_ get through this. We _will._ _”_

Caleb shook his head, dropping his gaze again to stare down at the floor of the cart. “You don’t understand. If they capture us, we’ll all rot in the dungeon, or in any of the other horrible dark holes they have at their disposal.”

“Then, like I said before, I’ll Teleport everyone away well before that happens, or we’ll find a way to escape after the fact.”

“If the King doesn’t believe us, all of this will have been for nothing.”

“Then we fall back to Rosohna or Nicodranas and we find another angle.”

“If this whole thing is a trap—”

“Then we’ll find a way out of it, probably bumbling and taking out anything and anyone in the way.”

It was Caleb’s turn to smile at him now. “You’re infuriatingly rational, do you know that?” He whispered.

“I’ve been told on occasion,” Essek said quietly, returning the expression, “though usually a bit more discretely, and under the ever present veil of courtly niceties.”

Caleb laughed more genuinely and sat back up, leaning his head back against the fabric wall of the cart and listening to the rain hitting it. He breathed slowly, in and out. The overwhelming fear had faded with the reminder that they did have a solid plan and several backup ones for a change, though his stomach still twisted with anxiety. So much for being able to keep himself together.

“Can you just… talk? Or whisper, I suppose? About anything else?” He asked as he leaned down to rest his head on Essek’s shoulder, staring down at their hands.

“Well,” Essek sighed, turning their hands over and thinking for a moment. “Let’s see… Jester told me she tried to Scry on my mother yesterday, of all people. Apparently she’s visiting in Bazzoxan, dealing with the recent incursions there.” He shifted slightly, bringing his other hand up to run his fingers through Caleb’s hair. “Doubtless, she’ll return to court in Rosohna and use it as evidence of Den Thelyss’s successful aid to the Dynasty, or something along those lines. I’m sure she’s hatching some sort of plot to help in the Den’s continued rise, which she’ll expect me to be a part of whenever we return. And,” he continued, “the spell I had been working on to avoid becoming ensnared in her political endeavors seems to have, ah, gone up in flames in light of recent events. I may have another copy of it somewhere, but I’m not sure how complete it is.”

“Hm,” Caleb breathed, eyes having drifted shut at the sensation of Essek’s nails against his scalp. “I’m sorry about that.”

“I wasn’t getting very far with it anyway, or at least not as far as I would have liked. Getting the somatic gestures just right can sometimes be a challenge, and the materials cost was still frustratingly high and seemed intent on staying there. Sometimes a fresh start can be a good thing.”

“Like being here with us?”

Essek laughed a bit and kissed the top of his head. “Yes, exactly.”

Caleb opened his eyes and sat upright, turning to face him. He carefully slid his hands through Essek’s hair and pulled him in, kissing him deeply for as long as he could. After all, they could still all be dead tomorrow, slim though the chance seemed, and he wasn’t going to pass up what could be one of his last opportunities.

Finally, after fifty-four seconds, they both had to come up for air. _“_ _Scheisse,”_ he muttered, trying unsuccessfully to smooth Essek’s hair back down. Caleb realized he’d ended up pulling him mostly into his lap at some point, and his other hand had slid more than a bit further down Essek’s back than he had originally planned. “Sorry. I, ah, didn’t mean to go quite that far.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Essek murmured. He leaned in and kissed Caleb’s cheek, the brief contact sending a pleasant jolt through him.

Caleb sighed and cupped his face again, pressing their foreheads together. A hundred different sentences seemed to stick to his tongue. _This is the first step_ _towards something better_ _, and I’m so proud of you._ And _If this does go sideways, please keep yourself safe_ _and stay away from him_ _._ And _My name was Bren before, did you know that?_ And _When this is over, will you please stay?_ And _I trust you more now, more each day_ _that you’re with us_. And _I don’t deserve to love you, can you_ _please_ _forgive me?_ And _Did you mean it, that you’d come with me to fix the Academy?_ And _If we find their research and the other Beacon, are you going to run?_ And _You’re brilliant, and I think I love you, and you_ _do_ _deserve a second chance._

Instead, he whispered, “We’re going to be fine, right?”

Essek nodded. “We will.”

Caleb slowly breathed out once, twice, three times. For some reason, he actually believed it, at least for now. “Okay. We’re going to be fine.”

“Yes. We can get through this. Now,” Essek said, pulling away slightly so they could see each other, “you need to get some actual sleep before tomorrow, if you can.”

Sleep had been one of the last things on his mind, but Essek was right. They all had to be at their best for what tomorrow was bound to bring. Caleb carefully untangled himself, the temporary loss of contact almost painful, and settled back with his head on Essek’s shoulder again, one arm hooked around his waist.

“I’m sorry I hurt your hand,” Caleb whispered, staring back down at their carefully entwined fingers.

“I’m not made of glass, dear,” Essek said gently, stroking his hair again. “My word may be worth little, but I promise you, I’m perfectly fine.”

Caleb winced a bit at that. “That’s not true,” he murmured, “and glass or not, I’m still sorry.” He lifted Essek’s hand and kissed each of his knuckles in turn.

Essek sighed and smiled slightly. “Alright, even though there’s absolutely nothing at all to be sorry for, I forgive you. Now, you really need to go to sleep.”

“Fine,” Caleb exhaled, scooting a little closer and snapping Frumpkin into his lap. “Goodnight. And thank you.”

"Goodnight, dear." Essek kissed the top of his head again. "Sleep well."

By some blessing from whatever god, goddess, or deity still thought him worthy of being watched over, Caleb's eyes eventually closed and he fell asleep dreamlessly. When he awoke, it was to the sound of Veth and Fjord yelling at each other and one of them throwing a stale pastry at the other. He sat up and rubbed his eyes as Jester screeched in protest over the loss of what was _like, one of the only fucking doughnuts left, you guys!_

“Children, behave,” Caduceus chided from the front of the cart. “Look, we’re almost there, don’t ruin the view with your bickering.”

Caleb’s head snapped up at that and, carefully pulling away from Essek without waking him, he stood up and strode to the front of the cart, sticking his head out to catch a glimpse of what horrors awaited their arrival in what had to be hell on Exandria.

The storm had finally broken and the sun was just coming up over the horizon, the rays of light reflecting off of the Candles in the center of the city and the castle itself. It almost looked like they were on fire, he thought with a bitter smile. The sprawling houses and shops and general thoroughfare was coming to life, movement visible even from this far out. They were approaching the city from the East, the gate looming before them like the final checkpoint before their doom. The guards stood at attention, shields and spears at the ready, staring them down as the cart slowly rolled towards the belly of the beast. A distinct shiver of dread ran down his spine. They were here. They were really here. They had actually crossed a continent and several countries to come to this place. There was no turning back now.

“WHOA,” Jester said, shoving herself past Caleb to stare wide-eyed at the city before her, tail swinging with excitement, “Holy shit, I forgot just how fucking big it is!”

Beauregard whistled, joining her. “Damn, this place looks dope.”

“It is quite a sight to see,” Caduceus said serenely, as if this were just another city and not a cesspool of toxicity and filth that was slowly leaking into the hearts and minds of the people who were stuck swimming in it.

“Ja, that is definitely one way to describe it,” Caleb said with a grimace. “Mighty Nein,” he sighed, “welcome to Rexxentrum.”


End file.
